just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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