literally had 100 drinks last night.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
