there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
