this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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