last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
