Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
