I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize