as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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