it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
