And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
