So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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