he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
