a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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