You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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