I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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