he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
