Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
