How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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