im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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