I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
