He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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