do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
