If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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