I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
