I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Come see our sink grown plant.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
