I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
