if you like me you must not know who I am
I cockslap morals
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize