I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
