How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
