Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
