Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
