please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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