Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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