this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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