Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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