If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
