It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
