Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
