Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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