i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
