A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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