They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dignity is for republicans.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
