I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
