Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
