You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize