As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
