six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
