i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
