There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
