worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Randomize
