EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
