hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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