And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
