ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
