ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize