It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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