haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
