how can u be prego again
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
