How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
