I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
