she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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