after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
