i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
