Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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