I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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